The smell in the Room

Thanksgiving is just a week away, and I have been doing much thinking about how grateful I am of this journey I call life. We are so lucky to live in an age of information at our disposal on You Tube, the internet, and kindle to put books at our fingertips with the click of a mouse.

I had a big AHA this week, when thinking about how my feelings are so important to my life.
I was raised with the adage “Fake it til you make it” and “there is no gain without pain”. WRONG!! That being said, I learned to disregard my feelings as important ways to adjust my actions.

The story of this AHA came from when I was cleaning out the cat box litter. Bagged and stinky I took the bag and put it in my car to take it to throw it away. When I returned to the car, I was immediately struck by the stench, uncomfortable. I had a short drive and I noticed as the time passed, I didn’t notice the smell anymore. It occurred to me, that many of my feelings were like that. Uncomfortable, yet if I moved on, I didn’t notice them. They were still there and needed to be handled if they were to be understood, yet I could manage to continue without changing them. Consequence; they would stack up in their unnoticed “stinkiness” until I was blown away by some unrelated situation. I would not realize my feelings were guiding me all along, and I chose to ignore them. What doesn’t get fixed, just keeps growing causing more things to get in your way to happiness. When you ignore enough of your feelings long enough, you will get sick. That is just the way it works.

Live in the moment, this means so much more to me today than it ever has before. Be aware of your feelings, and why they are what they are. It is not wrong to have bad feelings, they are just an indication you are not on the easiest track. You always get to pick your own path, your feelings just are indicators for you. My advice is to become aware of your feelings. Wake up and smell the cat litter so to speak. Be happy it is so much more fun then other ways I have tried before.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Be Grateful!

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To the Reserve Champion

I had the honor to judge the Arabian Youth Nationals this past week, and it was so much fun! The judges I had the honor to judge with were excellent, and fun, I met many new people, and got to watch some very nice horses. I am writing this because there was a class we judged that was so good it was exciting to be the judge.
The sad part of it to me was the rider who was second left the horse show feeling lack and regret for being second, instead of pride and happiness for doing an absolutely beautiful job. The class was so good that any of the top 6 could have won, and we would not have been wrong. Being the judge it is our job to put them in the order we think is best. That does not mean we think they are doing a bad job, it is just we must put them in an order. The test had an option of transitions and the winner chose to do the harder option beautifully, so that made her the winner, it did not turn the others into losers.
I hope to share this because I had a very parallel path in my life. I actually won a big class, and then I turned showing into what I win, as opposed to how much fun it was, or what I learned. I was never good enough for myself, which over time made things very hard, even though I had much success on the outside, I never really felt it on the inside.
I want to help anyone who might want to learn from my experience to avoid the pain I self inflicted, and the time I wasted not having a good time. I am not saying I do not enjoy winning, I am just saying that you must learn to support yourself, and enjoy what you do for reasons that are good for you. Winning is the icing on the cake, and you must like the cake enough to enjoy it without icing. Changing the recipe, growing and learning gets you to the icing, yet without the cake, the icing is not that fun either.
Keep doing your best, and love yourself in the right way, so you can grow and enjoy the journey.

Real life story:
We just finished our last class of the show, and our reserve champion can cruising over to our box (not appropriate w/o the Steward) The other Judge and I were happy to see her and my fellow judge actually shook her hand and I told her how beautifully she rode, and then we saw she was vibrating with unhappiness. That so made me sad. I wanted to hug her and get her to feel as proud of herself as we did, yet she only saw the lack of not winning. She was a winner even though she was second. At that point the Steward came and had to shoo her off.
I want all of mankind to learn to be nicer to ourselves, we can still compete and ride and have the journey we choose, let’s just do it in a kinder way for ourselves. This does not come from the outside or other people, it has to come from inside. No outside power has enough power make you feel good about you. It is an inside job, so please work on yourself in a loving way. It will make the journey magical. I can tell you from personal experience!
Love on!!
Be careful out there.

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To Be Appropriate

I was judging this weekend and had a very nice time. There were some issues with the opinion of the course design on Sunday. I had helped with the designing of the courses for the ring I was judging. The ring was almost square and it was not very long. The equipment was beautiful and many jumps, which added a challenge for where to put them. Trying to do a nice job for everyone involved, I plowed forward with doing the best job I could.
Turns out there was one very strong person who decided “these courses are crap”. My intention was certainly not that, so I was taken aback when she jumped into my booth, as I was judging and informed me she was going to redo the courses.
There could have been a number of different ways to accomplish the same outcome that would have been easier or more appropriate than how she barged in and took over. I questioned myself as to why it felt so awful for the 20 minutes I stewed over it. I was doing the best I knew at the time, I was asked to help, and I did. I came to the decision that if I wasn’t the course designer, it wasn’t my fault when people had trouble, good for me.
So why do people get so emotional and uncaring as to what the other person might feel? We are really all working to produce a good horse show, Take a few seconds especially when the juices are running hard and fast to stop take a breath, and think of the big picture. Will this be important in one year? Five years? How can I express myself to respect the other person? Together there will be a solution, let’s work together.
That is my “rant today, and I hope you get the idea that there is a lesson in everything, and it is our job to process it for ourselves. Have a great one. I leave you with a quote from one of my favorites, enjoy.

Start telling a better-feeling story about the things that are important to you. Do not write your story like a factual documentary, weighing all the pros and cons of your experience, but instead tell the uplifting, fanciful, magical story of the wonder of your own life and watch what happens. It will feel like magic as your life begins to transform right before yours eyes, but it is not by magic. It is by the power of the Laws of the Universe and your deliberate alignment with those Laws. —Abraham

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